Why do we find it hard to celebrate ourselves?

Do you think back and analyse things you’ve done, cringing a little? Would you find it hard to list 5 things you are proud of doing this year but could easily list a handful of things that you feel you did wrong? Do you ever think oh god I hate myself when you look back at things that you think you could have done differently or better? If you do, then you’re not alone as I’ve done all of these things and probably multiple times.

I’m rather introspective by nature and I’ve recognised that I frequently live in a spiral self loathing. I can see when this spiral deepens now and take steps to try and cut it off but I’m interested in why I think like that, in the first place. I think it is a state of mind more common to the female psyche but what triggers if? And what are the possible consequences of living with this negative mindset?

I think one of the general issues in society that could be having an impact is the fact that we live in a society where achievements are prized and honoured. This builds a competitive edge in our brains that may be subconscious but means that we are constantly setting ourselves incredibly high standards and considering ourselves failures if we can not reach those levels. Social media can also have a highly negative effect. You can look on Instagram at women who seem to have the perfect body, the perfect partner, the perfect job and basically just a completely perfect life. We don’t think about the fact that those posts show only a small part of their life, instead we feel failures that our life doesn’t measure up to theirs. So what do we do about that? Actually in my personal experience I used to just stuff my face with food like I was trying to eat my negative feelings about myself.

Celebrate our successes is not something that is built into our society so can easily be overlooked. The potential for negative  comparisons is everywhere though and easy to find.

I think some of the issues start in childhood and become so ingrained in our subconscious that they are difficult to shake. Certainly my own personal experience bears that out. I have the built in feeling of rejection from never knowing my real father. Plus a host of hang ups from my smothering and emotionally controlling, manipulative mother. There is certainly enough issues in that relationship to fill a lot of blog posts and a decade of therapy would probably start to help. Suffice to say that the feeling that I could never live up to her expectations left me with life long feelings of inadequacy.

This conditioning left me blaming myself for my extra husband walking away when I found out about his cheating. I felt I could never be good enough as a single parent and spent fortunes on the girls to compensate. Sadly this left me with horrendous debts that I am still repaying. People have praised me for being a good parent, my eldest says I am her role model but that inner voice still berates me and says I should do better.

Even now, I will continually feel bad. I will feel that I need to apologise to my girls that our little family is just us three though their dad does turn up for events when he can. I was criticised for not correcting my youngest, who has learning difficulties, when she jokingly told someone to shut up apparently in front of me. Instead of thinking how petty it was to complain about something so minor, I nearly cried and took it as a personal criticism of my parenting.

So, how do we break this mindset and start praising ourselves for all the good things we do in our lives? The quick answer is that I don’t know. I’m happy that I’ve realised that this is definitely an area that I need to work on though and I think that it may have a positive impact on my relationship with food too.

Look out for a follow up post to this when I will update you on what steps I’m taking to celebrate me

Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx

Know your breaking point and find your balance

If you follow my blog then you will know that finding a balance in life is something I find difficult and something that I continually have to work at. Working freelance and having a mountain of debt means that work often has to be the dominant factor and other things in my life suffer. Issues that throw me out of a routine also put a lot of pressure on me and sometimes I just don’t know how to cope with that. Emotional eating is still a huge issue for me and if I start to feel under enough strain then the temptation to try and bury myself in food can be overwhelming.

The last week put me under pressure. It was half term so my youngest was at home. I normally work while she is at school and then late in the evening once she is in bed. Last week I had to work most days because we needed the money and I had bills to pay that couldn’t be left. This made me feel rotten as I couldn’t take her anywhere. I was also working really late so lack of sleep was making me feel worse. I was cheating on my diet with sugary snacks to try and boost my energy which also made me feel rotten about myself. Finally my stupid fluctuating hormones made me want to sit on the floor and howl. Basically it wasn’t good.

I should have seen the signs and I should have prepared better as I knew half term would be difficult. Instead I let that little tight ball of anxiety in my stomach grow and grow until today, after a heated row with my dsughter’s school in which I nearly cried, I realised that I needed to stop this before I reached a breaking point that I couldn’t pull back from. That happened last year and I slid into months of overeating.

So tonight I’m going to bed at 12 instead of 2:30am, I will give myself regular breaks during the day tomorrow and I will treat myself to a bath instead of the shower sprint that I usually go through.

I know that this post doesn’t really have much to do with losing weight but for so many people, their mental state will have a huge impact on lifestyle changes that they might be trying to make. I realised today that I wasn’t in a good state and if I had read the signs then I might have realised even earlier. So try to be aware of yourself. Look at what issues could trigger mood swings or problems for you. If you start to feel that it is all getting a bit too much for you then do something immediately to try and lift your mood. It doesn’t have to be anything large or expensive. Just something that will make you feel happier. It’s important to recognise what could be your breaking point. It’s the only way to make sure that you don’t actually break.

Can the Menopause make it harder to lose weight?

I turned fifty last year so I knew then that I was at the age when menopause is literally just around the corner. I hadn't really had any symptoms up to then but within a month of my birthday, out of the blue, I literally felt like menopause had jumped up and slapped me in the face. I've always had a problem with fluctuating hormones and have found herbal supplements have helped but this time my hormones went haywire and I found it stated to get harder to lose weight. I also found that if I lapsed with my diet or had to cut down on my workouts that I put on more weight than I expected. I felt awful, was bloated and constantly exhausted with no energy. I started reading about how the menopause can have an effect on your weight and ways to help combat it. I found out quite a few interesting things.

The most important impact of the menopause is that any weight gained will go to a different part of your body. Hormone changes make your weight move from your hips and thighs to your belly. This can cause the so called middle aged spread. The weight gain can be made worse by fluctuations in the levels of oestrogen in your body. Either very low or very high levels can mean an increase in the amount of fat that your body stores.

You will also find that your metabolism slows although this is also a part of general ageing so that diets that have worked in the past are not now as successful. As we age, our bodies generally need less calories so portion control becomes more important. This is one reason why an exercise routine alone will not be enough to prevent weight gain during menopause.

Menopause can be a stressful and worrying time especially if you are experiencing distressing symptoms such as hot flushes. Unfortunately this can also have a detrimental effect on your weight. When our bodies are under stress, this causes the production of cortisol to increase. A high level of cortisol can cause you to develop more fat stores around your belly. Stress can also cause comfort eating which is always a huge problem for me.

So the answer is that yes, going through perimenopause and menopause can have an impact on your body both in terms of your weight and also how you store fat and the shape of your body. This was interesting to find out as it partly explains why, when I fell off my diet last year, I was able to put weight back on so easily and so quickly. The extra weight also definitely all went on my belly.

I've been trying a few different things to help myself adjust to this new stage in my life and I will write a post soon to share some of them with you and explain what has worked for me and what hasn't.

Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx

Blueberry Bites

I had a lot of blueberries left in my fridge yesterday and, as I felt in the mood to do some baking, I thought I would see what I could create with them.

My initial thought was to try and make some sort of Blueberry cookies but they sort of evolved into these instead. I've called them Blueberry Bites and they remind me of little mini scones in taste with a little bit more crunch. Here's the recipe.

Ingredients
800g Self Raising Flour
150g low fat margarine
200ml skimmed milk
1 egg
250g blueberries
150g caster sugar

Method

1. Beat the margarine into the flour 
2. Add the egg, sugar and milk and mix well until combined 
3.  In a separate bowl, mash the blueberries with a fork until they are broken up into pieces
4. Fold the blueberries into the mixture until fully combined
5. Take a small piece of the dough, roll it into a ball and then flatten with your fingers
6. place on a greased baking sheet
7. carry on until you have done this to all of the dough.
8. bake near the top of the oven at 175 degrees for approximately 20 minutes or until browned on top.
9. Leave to cool slight before removing from the tray

 This recipe makes an amazing 75 blueberry bites. I know that this is a lot but they will keep for about 5 days in a airtight container. Each bite is 2 weightwatchers smartpoints.

If you feel that this is too many for you then you could freeze half the dough until you want to make another batch or you could make larger version of the blueberry bite and just double the number of smartpoints.

As I said, I had intended this to be biscuits but they turned out to be gorgeous little scone bites, perfect with some spread and a cup of tea.

I find that I need to have a little snack available that won't completely ruin my smartpoints total for the day so these are perfect for me. Let me know if you try making them.

Speak to you soon



Love Erica xxx

Treat Yourself

I said that I was going to make 2018 a year for self care and I’m trying to stick to that. It’s just been little things so far just to make myself feel good. My thinking behind this is that it will help me keep on more of an even keel then I might have more luck in keeping my anxiety and depression under control. I think that anyone who has any sort of mental health issues needs to find their own strategies for dealing with things. Things that work for one person may not work for somebody else. So far it seems to be helping me.

In the spirit of this, I took a day off last week and took a trip to London. Financially I should have been working and I did have freelance work available but it was my birthday so I thought I would do something just for me instead.

I went to London with no real plan in mind. I just wanted to walk around and just see where I ended up.

Here’s some of the places I visited.

I love Covent Garden and it was lovely to wander around when it wasn't busy.

I hadn't been to Fortnum and Mason for years. Their window displays are amazing. Each one is a teapot made of different things.

I even had time for a quick selfie in their loo.

For me no trip to central London is ever complete without a visit to Whole Foods. I always find something new or unusual to try. I just wish we had one that was closer to home.

Another favourite shop of mine is Petersham Nurseries near Covent Garden. If you ever get the chance to go there, do it. If I come into money then I will refurnish my house from their shop, it's incredible.

I finished my day in London with a quick walk along the Thames. It was actually a really peaceful and calming thing to do before getting on the train home.

So it wasn't a huge thing to do or an expensive one. I thought I would tell you about it though because that simple act of taking a few hours for myself made a big difference to me. Just wearing something nice with make up and jewellery and pleasing myself for once lifted my mood. I think we all forget how important it is to look after ourselves sometimes and this can mean emotionally as well as physically. This is definitely something I'm going to try and repeat every now and then as it really did do me good. Remember as Ferris Bueller said

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx

My first week on Weightwatchers Flex

I have had such a good week and I can’t believe I’ve lost 6 pounds. I think that is probably the best start I have ever had to any diet.

My first impressions after a week on Flex are that I like it. It gives that little bit of added flexibility that I need. Things like eggs being zero points are incredibly useful!

I don’t feel that I have had to deprive myself particularly. Sometimes I have had to make decisions over choosing between two types of food but that’s been OK.

I’ve signed up for the online 3 month plan with weightwatchers. This is a big thing for me as it’s the best time I’ve officially joined since the very first time I tried it when I lost 1.5 stone going to meetings but ended up with bulimia! I just felt that this time I wanted the extra support. This means that I have use of all the facilities on the Weightwatchers app and that’s been really helpful.

I know the weight loss will slow down but I’m really buzzing to have had such a good start to my Weightwatchers journey in 2018.

Hope you are all having a great week! Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx

2018 - No New Year’s Resolutions

Last year I made very specific resolutions for what I was going to achieve in 2017. I just read back though and I didn’t keep to a single one. Do you make New Year’s resolutions? I don’t actually think I know anyone who makes them and actually manages to stick to them.

I have decided that, for me at least, making New Year’s resolutions is just putting another unnecessary pressure on myself. If I don’t make them then I can’t fail and break them and end up feeling really crap about myself.

So instead I am setting a theme for 2018. I want it to be my year of self care. I want to be kind to myself for the whole year. Yes, this does involve looking after my body and dealing with my weight as that impacts on my health. But it also involves recognising the fact that mentally I can be quite fragile and I need to protect myself in that respect. Perhaps it just means acknowledging the fact that it is OK to put myself first occasionally.

I hope you all have a wonderful start to 2018. Good luck if you are setting specific New Year’s resolutions and try not to be too hard on yourself if you slip up!

Speak to you next year!


Love Erica xxx

How to control emotional eating

 
I am an emotional eater. For years it has been my way to cope with the crap that life throws at us all from time to time. I’ve tried to overcome it and sometimes I’ve managed to control it for long periods of time, however eventually I resort to it as an attempt to deal with whatever is going on in my life. I like to think that I am quite an intelligent person and I’m certainly quite logical so I know that this sort of mindless eating is not good and it’s not an answer. I’m not talking about cheating on my diet occasionally, it’s standing in the kitchen cooking dinner and shovelling biscuits into your mouth one after another because you feel scared, anxious or just a bit of a failure. So, as I am trying to make myself healthier again, this is an issue I need to tackle and I’ve been looking to advice and suggestions to help me combat it. 

One thing that I have found is a book by Susan Albers called “50 more ways to soothe yourself without food. I haven’t been able to buy it yet as I currently have 86p in my bank account but I’ve found several articles about it that have given me ideas about ways to control my eating. Here’s my five favourite ideas from the book.

1. Speak to yourself
I am very self critical and I know this is a common trait with emotional ideas. I live in fear of failing and not measuring up. The idea is that when you feel low, you speak to yourself in glowing and positive terms. So, for me I would say something like “Erica, you are a determined and strong person and you have skills and talents so persevere and you will get there. It’s like giving yourself a verbal pay on the back so that you can break your downward mindset.

2. Ground yourself
Emotional eating is, as it says, all tied into your emotions. The idea behind grounding yourself is that it jolts you back to the physical state and again breaks the mindset. The book suggests holding an ice cube in your hands until it melts and concentrating on how it feels. 

3. Get your favourite book
Always have your favourite book nearby, pick it up and read one page at random. Then read that page backwards. The concentration required to do this should turn your mind from food.

4. Plan out your emotional week
Every week you should sit down and look at what is ahead of you. Consider what may be emotional challenging, flag it up and try to be prepared for how it may make you feel and how you could cope.

5. Make a 5 x 5 list
This is a way to distract yourself and give yourself something else to focus on. The idea is that you write down five different lists with five things in each. The lists could be things you could do to relax,  mantras you can say to help yourself, people you can call for a chat or things to read. Basically you make the lists of anything that you think you help you to keep control of your eating. I’m definitely going to do this and stick the list on my fridge. That way, when everything starts to get a little bit too much for me, I can pick one of my 25 things and it will help me cope until the moment passes.

I think these are quite useful ideas. I’m not saying that they will cure emotional eating but I think they may help control it. The other piece of advice I have is to take one day at a time. If you are having a rough time then be especially gentle with yourself. We will get through it!

Speak to you soon

Love Erica xxx

The year of falling apart

December is the time when reviews of the past year appear so here is mine. This is a tough post to write and is a bit of a confessional. I haven’t had a good year. It makes me sad as I had done so well in 2016 but basically this year I blew it. All the hard work and effort I put in have been undone and I’m pretty much back to where I started.

So why did it happen? Same old story really. Things I can’t control in my life like crippling financial debts overwhelmed me. I was working longer hours trying to put food on the table and get my girls what they needed. Somewhere along the line, it became easier to stop caring for myself. Exercise was the first thing to go as I told myself I couldn’t spare the time away from work. Then the odd little cheat crept into my first. This escalated until I was back in the cycle of feeling sad and anxious for at least some point of every day. I tried to solve this by basically throwing food down my throat. People describe it as trying to eat your feelings, well I must have consumed mine a hundred times over.

I felt as if I didn’t have any fight left so it was easier to give up and succumb to suffocating myself in a sea of doughnuts and cakes. The more I did it, the more I hated myself and then the more I ate to try and push down that hatred. St John’s Wort has saved me many times in the past but I was in such a terrible financial state for a few months that I couldn’t even afford it. Walking around Aldi with a calculator every week and then working out what I would have to put back was a bit soul destroying and I turned to cheap crap processed food for myself. You might ask why didn’t I go to my doctors for help or ask anyone for financial help? One of my issues is a terrible fear of being viewed as a failure. I got myself in this mess so it’s down to me to sort it out. My ex husband has helped me out on numerous occasions but I try only to ask if it involves the girls as he pays me a huge amount each month anyway plus he doesn’t earn a fortune now and he has his elderymum to care for. My doctor isn’t very sympathetic and I would prefer not to involve him as I know he would make me feel bad about my weight, he’s done it before.

So how do I stop this spiral of what I suppose is a form of self abuse? I’m trying to go back to basics. I’ve been reading Russell Brands book about addiction and it has helped me to focus. This is my action plan/survival guide.

1. The new year will be my new start. It gives me a focal point.

2. I’m going back to Weightwatchers as I hope the new Flex programme will suit me better.

3. Self care is my priority for the year.

4. I need to remember that exercise will also help my state of mind.

5. There are things in my life I can’t control at the moment (debt) so I have to learn to accept that and just do what I can. That doesn’t mean I am a failure.

I hope this will help. I’m also writing a book about life as a single parent which is my first attempt at a work of fiction. It’s proving to be an interesting experience and quite a cathartic one so far.

Well, there you have it. I screwed up! Not for the first time but hopefully for the last time. I’m in a decent mindset at the moment although writing all this down has made me want to cry a little. I’m just waiting to have money at the end of December to order my Weightwatchers starter kit then I will be back here on a regular basis. I just wanted to explain to you what had happened. I’ve made a couple of attempts to get started again but this time I mean it.

Thank you if you have stuck with my blog still. I do appreciate it. Speak to you soon

Love Erica xxx

Step in the right direction

Another 1.25lbs lost this week so I'm definitely heading in the right direction. I'm especially pleased as this was without any workouts and mentally it was quite a tough week.

Work was so manic and I got a cold so although I tried to walk more, I passed on anything more strenuous. Mentally I just felt quite low and my thoughts turned to comfort food, as usual. I'm waiting for some St Johns Wort to arrive in the post so hopefully that will give me a boost. I want to do a post soon about supplements. I'm a great believer in herbal supplements and there are a few that really help me so I will tell you all about them soon.

If you follow my Instagram then you will have seen that I've been enjoying cooking lately.

Giving greater thought to my dinners and trying to make sure they look attractive as well as taste good has really helped me.

The week ahead will be more of the same. I'm planning to experiment with a few recipes including some vegan ones. I may, if this cold goes away, even go for a run or two.

Hope you all have a great week

Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx

First week back on track

Well, I made it through the first week back on weight watchers and I'm delighted with a 3.75 lbs loss. It's actually been a lot better than I expected. I've gone back to fruit smoothies for breakfast with my trusty Nutribullet and stuck to low calorie of fruit snacks. For dinners I've tried to keep it simple and that's definitely worked. If you follow my Instagram then you will have seen that I'm a huge fan of Jamie Oliver's new book and I highly recommend it if you are looking for quick healthy and nutritious meals. The super green pasta was particularly good!

I haven't exercised much but I have tried to walk more. Work is still hectic so I didn't want to try and pack too much in as I already felt quite stressed. Will probably start to build workouts into my routine next week.

Speak to you soon



Love Erica xxx

Starting Over

Hi there,  I'm now back to trying to sort myself out properly. The summer is over and although my financial times situation hasn't really improved dramatically, I'm now in a better place mentally to try and concentrate on me. I've also accepted that for me, this will be a life long battle. I'm cross with myself for undoing a lot of my previous good work but I'm trying to learn from what happened.

I think firstly I got complacent. I felt good, I'd lost a lot of weight so I stopped putting the work in. This led to the odd bit of cheating and telling myself that a bar of chocolate wouldn't hurt. Everything then snowballed this summer. I was working all hours, getting about five hours sleep per night and solo parenting with no money to spare and no free time. I also catapulted into menopause which hasn't been pleasant. I hit my 50th birthday and it was like a switch turned off in my body. I didn't expect to be so effected by it so suddenly and it was just another thing that crushed me really. My anxiety and depression came back and I was incredibly low.

I could feel this happening but at the time I didn't have the mental strength to pull myself out of it. So now it's back to the drawing board. I'm going back on weight watchers. Yes, I know it can be restrictive but I think I need that structure and routine. Thankfully I have stopped before I had put back all the weight I lost but it's still not good!

So everything starts today and you will be hearing a lot more from me now!

Speak to you soon

Love Erica xxx

A bad relapse but I'm on my way back

Hi, I know I disappeared for a bit. Basically I didn't just fall off my diet, I swandived off it into as much food as I could cram into my mouth. I'm not making excuses for something that I'm really disappointed in having done but I've tried to look at the reasons why in the hope that by understanding that, I will stop myself from repeating it.

It was a bit like a domino effect really. My finances hit a major sticky point. I struggle anyway but this was a case of not having enough to pay some bills or put food on the table. Every spare minute was spent working so I didn't exercise at all. My moods got worse and I felt anxious, tearful and depressed most of the time. I was getting no endorphins from exercise and I couldn't afford the St. John's Wort that usually helps me through times like this. Instead I turned to food. Depression plus the fact that I was working so much and getting less sleep meant that I turned to sugary crap basically to try and lift my mood and give me the energy to keep going. Then I felt bad about doing that so I ate even more to try and cheer myself up. Menopause also appears to have popped up and smacked me in the face do you can add unbalanced hormones plus hot flushes into the mix

This has gone on for over a month now. I've no idea how much I've put on. That horror will come tomorrow morning on the scales but I'm prepared for it to be bad.

The only positive thing to come from this is that I know now that I will probably be fighting these inner demons compelling me to overeat for the rest of my life. I relaxed after over a year of healthy living and they regained control. So it will be a daily battle and one step at a time. I know that I somehow have to prioritise me. It won't be easy and it may not work all the time but I have to try.

So anyway I'm back now. Healthy living starts now! Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx

Use a mood board to inspire your weight loss and fitness journey

it you are embarking on a long term weight loss journey then it is inevitable that there are going to be times when you find it harder to keep on track. This could be for a multitude of reasons. Illness or injury stops you working out, work or family pressures make it hard to stick to your diet or maybe you just feel miserable and lose your motivation.

For me, as an emotional overeater and someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, my moods are key to my success. I know when my mood is low, I find it harder to resist foods are that. As for me. I am also less inclined to exercise as well.

I have been reading a lot about mood boards lately. Some people call them inspiration or motivation boards. I wanted to see whether having a visual representation of things that motivate or inspire me would be helpful in keeping my moods on a better level.

The great thing about a board like this is that you literally can include absolutely anything. Look for quotes you like, images that inspire you, pictures that show what you are trying to achieve or even just things that make you happy. I looked at some examples on Pinterest and then just dived in. I haven't finished it yet and the idea is that it will constantly be a work in progress that will evolve with me. I actually found just the process of putting it together to be quite therapeutic!

So this is what it looks like at the moment!

Let me know if you use mood boards already or if this post inspires you to start one. I'd love to see what you put on yours. I'll keep you updated as my board evolves and changes.


Speak to you soon



Love Erica xxx

Flex TV - Exciting new developments

If you have read my blog before or you follow me on Instagram then you will know that I am a big fan of Flex TV. For those of you reading this that are new to the Flex concept, it is a great way for you to take part in professional high quality workouts while still in the comfort of your own home. For a monthly fee, you can choose to workout as much as you want and whenever you want. Workouts include HIIT, Pilates, Yoga, Dance and Cardio. You really are spoilt for choice.

I don;t know about you but the thought of walking into an exercise class at a local gym is quite a scary thought especially while I am still quite big. Working out on the Flex site means I don;t have to worry about that. It is also so easy to fit my workouts into my day while my daughter is at school. Flex really is perfect for mums that want to improve their health and fitness.

As Flex has had a bit of a revamp lately, I thought I would tell you about all of their new exciting
innovations.

When you join Flex, you are now asked some general questions about yourself and your aims. As a result of this, you are allocated a tribe. Your tribesmates will be people of a similar age and with similar aims. Each tribe is led by an experienced instructor who is there to offer encouragement and help if you need it. This is a great idea to introduce this community element as it can be lonely exercising at home on your own. Tribe members can work together to encourage each other and recommend classes.

Another big part of Flex is your planner. When you join, you sign a pledge to exercise on certain days of the week. Your planner will then schedule classes for those times based on the types of classes that you have said that you enjoy. You can change the schedules or classes at any time.

For me personally the biggest and best change that Flex has made is that they have made all of their classes available on demand. Previously you only could attend classes as they were streamed live and I will admit that sometimes this just was not convenient for me. You can still take part in live classes but you can also access every single class. You truly are spoilt for choice. Earlier this week it literally took me about 15 minutes to choose which class I felt like doing.

Another thing that in my opinion makes Flex a great choice is that there is no long term contract. You simply pay a monthly fee and then can use Flex as much as you want. There is also a 30 day free trial available when you sign up so you can get to experience the site fully and see if you like it. You can find out more information or sign up for the free trial at Flex TV

Let me know if you join up and what you think of Flex.

Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx


Disclosure
I  was not financially compensated for this post. I received free membership of Flex  for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.

Is weighing youself bad for you?

What's the first thing you do every morning?

For me. it's standing on my scales. If my weight is down then my mood is instantly lifted and I feel happier to start my day. If I haven't lost anything or, God forbid, my weight has gone up then I will stand there feeling anxious. I'll move the scales and try again just in case the first result was a blip. When it comes out the same, then  I will start my day feeling under pressure, worried and just not good enough.

I'm quite a logical person and I know that there are many factors that can influence your weight and mean that you might not be losing as much as quickly as you want.

• You could be losing fat and gaining muscle
• You could be retaining water
• A cheat day could have caused your glycogen levels to rise temporarily
• Your hormones could be impacting on your weight loss depending on where you are in your cycle.

I could tell myself all of the above over and over again but if that little number on my scales doesn't say what I want it to say then I will be filled with a sense of self loathing and fear that I have screwed up my diet yet again.

I have been feeling this sort of pressure lately. If you follow my blog then you know that it hasn't been easy for me since the New Year and a really nasty bout of bronchitis was the final straw. I'm starting to pull myself together and get back on track but I found that I was really starting to dread my Wednesday weigh in day. I felt incredibly pressured and I didn't enjoy the feeling. I suffer from mild depression anyway so I am very in tune with anything that has an impact on my moods.

So I have decided to have a little experiment. I want to enjoy my healthy lifestyle. I want to plan new recipes to eat. I want to work hard at regaining my fitness. I just don't want to have that sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach about stepping onto the scales.

I am therefore not going to weigh myself until 1st June. That is six weeks from now. I will keep counting calories and working out but I'm putting my scales in the cupboard for now. I'm hoping that by removing this source of pressure for me that I will relax and just enjoy getting back into shape. Then hopefully I will get a nice surprise on 1st June.

I will keep you posted how it goes. Speak to you soon


Love Erica xxx

A trip to Hampstead Food Market

 

If you follow my Instagram then you will have seen that on Saturday we trekked across London to Hampstead. I had been hearing great things about the food market there and decided to check it out myself. It was also a chance to take my daughter to Kenwood House.

The food market is situated nearly opposite the Tube station so it's really easy to fin. It's just behind the Everyman cinema.

The market may be small but they certainly manage to pack an amazing amount of produce in there.

I was really pleased to find Olivers Bakery had a stall. I've bought their products before at Borough Market. Their bread is amazing so I had to treat myself!

The market really is worth a visit with a huge choice of different products. I really want to go back and stock up on nut butters from Butter Nut of London. Their blend of flavours was really innovative particularly the cashew and tumeric butter.

If you fancy something to eat while you are there, why not visit the street food stall? The smell of the food was really enticing.

There really was a wide selection of stalls! Even one for dogs.

Hampstead itself is well worth a visit. I can't believe that I have lived all life in London without visiting there before. There is a real quaint village feel to the place.

No visit to Hampstead would be complete without a trip onto the Heath. We walked right across the Heath to go to Kenwood House. You may recognise it from the film Notting Hill.

Inside was amazing and it was a  lovely way to round off our day

I would definitely recommend a trip to Hamsptead if you fancy a day out somewhere new in London. The food market is open every Saturday and is really worth a visit so why not make a whole day of it?

Speak to you soon



Love Erica xxx