I started off by feeling incredibly low. The hideous events in Nice really haunted me. That is one of my favourite holiday destinations and I have been to promenade parties on the Promenade des Anglais with my children.
It didn't feel like there was much love left in the world at that point.
Following on from the Nice attack I had to explain to my 12 year old daughter why I may not let her go on a school residential trip to France in the next school year due to my concerns over safety. She wasn't happy but I know that parental love isn't about popularity. It's about doing what you feel is best for your child. It was a struggle to explain this to her though.
If you have read my blog before then you will know that I am an emotional overeater. Bad moods, bad experiences or just generally tough times will usually have sent me reaching for the cakes and biscuits. Even though I felt incredibly low over the weekend, I was able to stop my self from comfort eating. I was in a reflective mood anyway so I took some time to think about what was different this time and why was I able to control my mood.
I came to the conclusion that the difference is how I feel about myself now. I wouldn't go as far as to say I love myself. I still have self esteem and body issues to combat as well as depression. However I can recognise that I am in a different place now compared to the start of the year and I know how far I have managed to come.
Maybe this is the answer for me. Being happier with myself and more content with my choices puts me in a position of strength to deal with the crap that life throws at me and make difficult choices.
Carrie Bradshaw summed it up perfectly in Sex and the City - "The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."
So love your friends, love your family, love your pets but don't forget to love yourself and don't let anyone ever tell you that you are not worth that!
Here's some of the images that have motivated me today.
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